I’ve thought long and perhaps hard about what my contribution to the world whether online or off may be, and have come to a few conclusions. I think this is a good way to consider them and as such start to act on them.
Over the last few years I have let my website slip, mainly due to my change in priorities, and change in what it is that I do. It started out as a tool to gain some recognition and create some contacts as I’m sure many websites did and still do, but I realised that it wasn’t really as simple as that. Even with traffic and people interested in what we were up to (it was a design collective), that did not really translate into what I wanted to do or be. I have had the opportunity to work with some amazing people over the years, and I’m sure I’ll work with many more in the years to come, but what should my legacy be and how should I spend my time to feel that I have been justified in existence..
There has never been a push to make this blog more than just a personal experiment and it was never really maintained in the way that it needs to be in order to create any useful content. I unpublished all of the posts because of a single comment, possibly the only comment to ever hit the site that wasn’t spam. I was purely voicing my opinion on some things that I’ve thought about and played with, nothing with too much real deep research into the subject, and the comment went something like “maybe you should learn about physics properly if you’re interested in it”.
To me, this was against the purpose of what I was writing. I do try to learn as much as I can but can’t for semi obvious reasons, dedicate all of my time to all subjects of interest. At the same time I like to think about these things and have a need to share these thoughts whether they are right or wrong. The maths or the reality that I was considering in my head was really more for my benefit than any reader, and more of a catalogue of thoughts than a true resource for real world ideas. Thinking back, the reason I removed the posts was that I was embarrassed to a degree that I didn’t know the right answer or even if it did exist, but had come to my own conclusions about it. I now think that maybe these things should be put online again. It was disheartening to think that my ideas were not welcome in a pool of knowledge because they were not as well formed as someone with a degree in the subject, or possibly someone with any kind of training in the field, but perhaps that doesn’t really mean that my contribution to the world of content is useless. Surely there is more inane things to read than any ramblings of ideas and concepts that for one reason or another make it into my head.
I’m not claiming to have any answers, I am just collecting my thoughts, so feel free to think I’m stupid or crazy, I do however hope that you might do the same.. ideas are the true resource of our time and our species. There is little harm in having an idea that is wrong as it may be useful to somebody in some way.. ideas should be collected and shared so that inspiration can be found and used to create something wonderful. It can come from seeing a picture of the earth from space, or to a further extreme, staring endlessly at the Hubble deep field images, all the way down to seeing a speck of dust sitting on the front of my screen whilst playing with my camera and seeing the vast difference putting a polariser makes.. or sharing some words like in the book I’m currently reading, Antimatter.. there are things that make up this world that have substance and things that are pure energy but don’t have a physical presence.. that blew my mind.. a particle that comes together to make an atom that goes together with others to make tangible things such as the keys I’m typing on right now, but there is “something” that is also a particle that has no mass, just energy, something that exists without existing. This is a language and philosophy issue, and in itself asks, “what is it to exist?” or “what is the nature of existence and reality?” .. or any other similarly phrased questions
I will quote it properly in another post because this made a fairly hefty impression on me, but the reason for this post is not to put these things in, it is to give myself a mantra that things I find that inspire me should be shared to inspire anyone who finds them inspiring. If someone gets the feeling that I get when I read something that makes me stop and stare off into nothing for a bit, then it was more than worth it.
So, I suppose this is a “lets do it over” post.. it is entirely possible that I will write things about subjects I have no knowledge of, simple and often wrong opinions, but this is me, and the reason for writing it is as I’ve said, to collect my thoughts and not to educate people on how things really are. If at any point in doing this I am right, or come up with something useful to even just one person, then the other completely wrong thoughts are cancelled out in my mind. It is up to you, the reader to decide what to do with the words that I write on here. So, right or wrong, this is a subsection of the inside of my head.
It’s a call to arms to myself to not censor my thoughts and ideas, and to create a legacy of content that I can remind myself of times past for the celebration or cringing of my future self.